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autumn

Bad feelings in relationships

You may have bad feelings with or about your [potential] partner, or even feelings you are not comfortable having with/about someone in that position. This is completely normal and to be expected, even with the most compatible matches, since we are such complex creatures and feelings range the vast gamut that they do.

If you do not find a way to hold space for those feelings, in yourself, with a confidante, and/or with your [potential] partner, you may come to resent him/her, associating that suppression of yourself with the individual. Sometimes, a [potential] partner will genuinely be unable [either systemically or on certain issues] to hold space for your negative or unwanted feelings; other times, he/she may surprise you.

If you do not find space for your bad feelings in yourself, however, it will be quite difficult to build trust and intimacy with your [prospective] partner. Also, if you do not share your feelings with her/him, you will never know how she/he will receive them, and the opportunity for you to associate resentment and discomfort with her/him arises.

~andrea

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